My Glamorous Mom Life
Tuesday, February 21, 2017
Just A Mom With Anxiety...
I have seen so many moms who do so well at not
holding their children so close to them 24/7 and smothering them with their
protection. I’’ve seen them be able to leave them with a family member or
friend and go out with their husband or just go out and have some “them” time.
I’ve also seen moms who can leave their children at daycare and go work or just
have some time away. I on the other hand can’t hardly leave my son with my
husband for me to go buy groceries (even though Mark is a wonderful father), I
can’t stand not being with my son to make sure he’s okay, to watch over him, to
make sure he’s not watching some movie he shouldn’t or eating who knows what
off the floor. When I’m not around I can’t be in control of what he hears,
sees, or does. In my mind I am his mother and the only person who knows what’s
best for him. I think there can be an extreme with either type of person I just
described but, one thing for sure is you need to not smother and you need to
not leave them all the time. There is a balance, but how do you find that
balance when you are a control freak with major anxiety issues?? My honest
answer, I don’t know. I can pray about it, trust God with my son whether I’m
around or not. I’d say that’s the first step. Ultimately God is in control, so
I have to realize that I cannot control everything that happens, but I can
trust the One who does control everything. I’ve got the whole not dropping my
son off on everyone and leaving him part down, but the taking time away and for
myself part not so much.
With anxiety a lot of times it’s just a mind
game, (at least for me anyways). I have to go through each possible “bad thing”
or “bad outcome” that goes through my mind and tell myself why it won’t happen,
or why it will be okay. I ask Mark a thousand times each night before bed “is
Tobias okay? Is anything over his face?” not because I didn’t believe Mark the
first time but because I am reassuring my mind that HE IS OKAY! Poor Mark is
trying to be patient with my peppering questions lol. This is something I have
to pray about A LOT. The only way I know to get past all this anxiety and fear
is to pray, let go, and get away sometimes and show myself everything will be
okay. That’s hard though. Easier said than done. I’m sure part of it has to do
with it being my first child but then I remember that wait; I’ve always been
like this! I’ve always been this way, because I have to be in control! Ask my
husband, lol I always have to know everything and decide everything, even if
Mark decides and makes me feel like I decided. Control, control, control! But
in reality the only thing we really control is our decisions. I want to make
the decision to trust everything to God, not to worry.
Now, I know I have things to work on, most
people do, and there is always a loving way or nice way to say that maybe I
should take some time away or time with my husband. I’ve had people say those
things in a way that does not offend me whatsoever. I’m always up for someone
else’s perspective or opinion, as long as it’s done nicely. I have also had
people treat me like I have a disease because of how I take care of my son. Yes
I have anxiety and yes I’m very protective of my son and I know this and there’s
nothing wrong with it. I just need to work on all the things mentioned above,
and I know that. Treating me like I have a disease or being rude about it doesn’t
exactly encourage me very much. It only makes me angry. I’d imagine others
would feel the same. It’s like when my anxiety is bad and someone tells me to chill
or not to worry, it’s not just THAT simple. Easy to say, hard to do. So be
mindful of how you are trying to help someone and be loving and considerate.
Sometimes that’s easier said than done too lol. (Trust me; I need to work on
that one too.) And sometimes, the person with the issue has heard it a thousand
times and just doesn’t need to hear it again. A little consideration and
kindness can go a long way. Can we just take a moment to thank the people who
are loving and kind when giving their opinion or perspective! :) You guys rock!
So where do you fit in here? Are you over
protective or easy about dropping the kids off ALL the time? Hopefully either
way you can find a balance that works with your family, as I’m trying to find
mine.
Keep being glamorous and always remember
Proverbs 31,
Carlee, The Glamorous Mom.
Don’t forget to like my Facebook page and keep
in touch. J
Friday, February 17, 2017
Disney: Is It Really "That" Bad?
My Glamorous Mom Life
Disney seems to get a lot of flak for their
movies, especially princess movies. It is said they give too high expectations
for men to live up to and little girls dreams they can’t achieve. I would like
to discuss why I think they are wrong and why I will allow my kids to watch
Disney movies. Don’t get me wrong Disney doesn’t always get everything right
but there are some great movies that you can turn into some deep (as deep as
you can with a kid) conversations. There are lessons to be learned, and
discussed which I think is awesome. Obviously these will be my opinions and you
may think differently. You also may notice that certain movies aren’t mentioned,
that’s either because I don’t see that much to learn from it, I don’t like it,
I haven’t seen it in a while to remember it well or I just haven’t watched it.
Jasmine and Aladdin. Jasmine is a beautiful
princess not wanting to marry for benefit but for love. Okay isn’t that most of
us? Aladdin is a homeless thief who eventually lies to Jasmine for her to love
him. What Aladdin doesn’t know is she cared for him before she “thought” he was
a prince. She loved him for who he was, not his circumstances. He was far from
perfect yet she loved him anyway. Usually you see this the other way around
right? The perfect prince loves the princess for who she is, I happen to like
the reverse roles in this one. I think Disney does a wonderful job of showing
how you can love an imperfect person just as they are which can actually lead
to a discussion of how Jesus loves us even though we are imperfect. I know that
probably wasn’t Disney’s goal but you can definitely have some deep discussions
with your kids if you really try.
Mulan
and Shang. Personally one of my favorite Disney movies is Mulan. (Probably
because I have similar characteristics as her like opening my mouth when I
should probably keep quiet lol) Mulan is what a woman wasn’t supposed to be in
those times in her culture, she was a strong woman who was not afraid to stand
up to any man and speak her mind. Not wanting her Father to die in war she
disguises herself as a man and takes his place. (Okay can we just get an
applaud here? She is so stinking awesome) She meets Shang because he is her
captain. So, obviously she is lying to him, and being a dishonor because
females were not supposed to go into battle. Women would be killed for such
actions she took. She was brave and strong, but not what she was “supposed” to
be. Shang only wanted to please his Father, he could be a bit angry sometimes
but I would be to with a bunch of soldiers not doing their job right and acting
out. He finds Mulan’s true identity and leaves her on a snowy mountain alone. (With
the exception of her little dragon Mushu and a horse). Basically she probably
would have died if she wasn’t so bomb. Then when she warns him of the bad guys
he doesn’t believe her. So yeah in this case the guy is super handsome and
really awesome except for a few anger issues and distrust. But, even though
Mulan was everything she wasn’t “supposed” to be and she lied, he forgave her
and loved her anyway. It’s all about loving someone for who they are, even
though they make mistakes because we are ALL going to make mistakes.
Belle and the Beast. Okay so I do really like
this movie but am I the only one who thinks Belle is a freak for falling in
love with an actual “beast”? Um yeah I’m pretty sure that’s wrong. But anyway
he was a man so I can get over the weirdness. This movie basically screams “I
love you for who are, no matter what.” Belle is the town nerd and considered
weird yet very beautiful. Beast is a man turned beast by curse, who is angry
and mean. We do see his soft side come out though when he starts falling for
Belle. He loved her, just as she was nerdy and all. He even gave her his
library. Belle (for some reason) loved him just as he was, angry and all, furry
and all. But it shows the point that under someone’s anger is a person with a
heart and sometimes you just need to show them love to break that wall down.
Rapunzel and Flynn Rider aka Eugene. We all
know Rapunzel is a beautiful princess with a great heart, wonderful personality,
and many talents. She is obviously very ignorant because of her overly
sheltered life, but that’s not really that huge of a fault. Flynn Rider on the
other hand is a thief who has seen the bad and ugly in the world and lived it.
He tries to flirt his way out of her hair and trick her so he doesn’t have to
bother with helping her. He soon starts to care, and then love her. He puts his
thievery days behind him and sets to make a life with her. He also saves her
life and returns her to her true parents. Even though they are complete opposites
she loves him and he loves her. She doesn’t hold his past over his head; she
just loves the man he is now. I think we can all take something away from that.
And I really don’t see how this is setting too high of expectations for men? I
mean I don’t know about you but I’d rather not be with a thief, of course I’d
forgive him for it but that’s not the point here is it?
Cinderella and Prince charming. Prince charming
is just what his name is, yes he’s a prince, and yes he’s charming, but that
doesn’t mean he is perfect. He has his own battles he’s facing with wanting to
please his father and wanting to do right by the kingdom, and also wanting to
follow his heart. He doesn’t care that Cinderella is not rich or a princess, he
just loves her. Cinderella of course is a beautiful young lady forced into
basically being her stepmother’s slave after her father dies. But she is kind
and soft spoken, forgiving. Even though both here seem perfect and no one can
live up to them, if you really look into it, they are just two people going
through battles and pain and coming out even stronger and kinder. I see this as
a great lesson. Loving someone for who they are, forgiving those who hurt you. This
is not high expectations at all; it is exactly what we should be doing. Loving
and forgiving.
Maleficent. There’s not a guy’s name there
because well, this movie basically made all men useless.(okay not exactly for
that part lol) This one doesn’t tie in with giving men high expectations but it
does show forgiveness and redemption and I just love this movie. Maleficent
holds on to bitterness and anger after her “true love” cut off her wings and
hurt her. She then curses his daughter. Yet, she starts to love the girl and
then regrets her curse. She tries and tries to stop it but she can’t. She is
sorry for her actions and wants to be free of it. Her tears and kiss on Aurora
ends up being “true loves kiss” and breaks the curse. No man was even needed
lol so that’s a bummer but it shows just how we can repent, we can end our
bitterness and ask for forgiveness. We can turn from the anger. I know I’m
probably one of few who really saw this in this movie but I thought it was awesome
how it showed we can turn from our wrong ways and we don’t have to continue in
them. Once again not Disney’s target but you can have some really deep
discussions with your kids after watching this movie.
Pocahontas and John Smith. I really like this
movie and love Pocahontas. She is beautiful and has a heart for adventure. Her
and John Smith are so different and come from completely different places and
background. Actually they are supposed to be enemies. But, they don’t hold the
hate for each other as everyone else does. They love each other and want to
help the Indians and whites to reconcile, not to fight. I also love how it puts
the point out there that the whites were being savages not just Indians because
they were acting so wrongly. That’s another topic all together though and this
isn’t history class lol. They both wanted different things than their “tribes”
wanted. Of course, John Smith is handsome, strong, kind, a soldier, brave, and
just great. But of course he was sneaking away and putting everyone in danger
just as Pocahontas so even though they seem perfect they really aren’t. They
are reckless and adventurous. Sadly they don’t get married because he ends up
dying later on, but I still think it’s a great movie. I don’t think your little
girls will expect every man they meet to be “John Smith” I think they will want
someone to protect them, and love them for who they are though, just like he
did. Isn’t that what we want for our kids anyway?
So maybe I went a little deep here, but I just don’t think little girls and boys will take from these movies that they need to be “perfect” for someone to love them. These characters are far from perfect yet they are loved anyway. There’s so much you could talk to your kids about after watching these movies, so much you could teach them. Also, if you’re taking the time to talk to them about the movies won’t you be able to help them understand what is really happening? These are just my thoughts on the matter and I wanted to share them with you. Hope you enjoyed reading how my brain thinks about such matters because I truly enjoyed writing it. Always remember that YOU are the parent and YOU need to decide what to let your kids watch, pray about it if you are unsure.
Keep being glamorous and always remember
Proverbs 31,
Carlee, The Glamorous Mom.
Don’t forget to like my Facebook page and keep
in touch. J
Wednesday, February 15, 2017
For The Broke, Busy, And Singles.....
My Glamorous Mom Life
The
month of February can be frustrating for some people, it’s the month of
Valentine’s Day and well let’s face it, not all of us get to celebrate it the
way we like. You’re single, broke, or too busy with work and kids. Let me be
the first to tell you you’re not alone and it WILL be OKAY. Today I want to
share a list of ideas for the single, broke, and overloaded girls out there to
feel special on any day. I personally had a great Valentine’s Day even though
we are broke as a crash site, so my first list will be for the broke girls out
there.
I will start with what we did; we got each
other a little gift and nice card. That’s it. KIDDING!!! Lol We did do that but
we made the day special. We are too broke to go out so I just made sure my son
was happy watching his movie when my husband came home. I had candles and music
and made a romantic evening right here at home. You can make a nice dinner,
maybe something you don’t have often and have some alone time. It’s easy and
cheap. Almost free lol. Make it as “romantic” as you like, whatever suits you
and your husband. <3 J
Another great idea is a moonlit walk in a nice
park (free!!!) and a nighttime picnic under the stars. Even if you don’t have a
park nearby you can just use your backyard! It’s romantic and sweet. Personal.
A walk under the stars is great for some good conversation, and stealing some
kisses!!! ;) Depending on what you’re into a night in playing board games or
video games could be just what you need!! There are all kinds of ways to have
free date nights. Get creative. Next let’s talk about some ideas for the girls
that are just too busy for dates and romance.
Okay, so you have to clean, work, take care of
kids ect. And there’s only so many hours in a day, but there’s always time for
romance with your husband. Lunch breaks have been dates for me and my husband
when we just didn’t get chances to be together, even when we were dating
sometimes that’s the only time I could see him. Make that 1 hour count!! If your
lunch breaks don’t match up put the kids to bed early and order take out and
watch a movie or whatever is you guys thing. Just enjoy some alone time with
the peace and quiet. Maybe take a day off work (if possible without lying about
being “sick” lol) take a day to yourselves, if its housework keeping from
getting to go out forget about it, just let the dishes stack up for later, the
laundry stay unfolded. Go out and enjoy each other. You’re marriage or relationship
is far more important than a spotless house!!! Trust me, no housework got done
when my husband got home on Valentine’s Day, we spent time with each other
instead! You’re never too busy for love!
Now, if you’re reading this and thinking “what
about the singles? We need to feel special too!” don’t worry girl, I got you.
Okay first off you don’t NEED a guy to make you feel special, yes it’s nice and
awesome but you are already special. God made you special and He loves you very
much (yes I just quoted Veggie tales)! Girl, go to the spa, get your hair done,
have a girls night out, whatever makes you feel special. Just because you don’t
have a guy doesn’t mean you can’t go out and have fun. Shoot I’ve even gone to
the movies alone before and found it to be so fun and relaxing! Me and my
bestie have had so many girl dates and so many laughs together that we didn’t need a “date” to feel special and have fun!
I really hope this was at least a little
helpful and maybe whenever you want to feel special or have a date night you
will find a way and be creative and work with what you have. There’s always a
way to have fun no matter what your situation. J Hope you have a very blessed February!!
Keep being glamorous and always remember
Proverbs 31,
Carlee, The Glamorous Mom.
Don’t forget to like my Facebook page and keep
in touch. J
Tuesday, February 14, 2017
Who You Are
My Glamorous Mom Life
Sometimes I believe we get caught up in who we
are as mother’s and wives that we forget WHO we are. I know I do. Sometimes I
feel like that’s all I am, just a mom, or just a wife, but that’s a huge lie. I
keep trying and trying to do what I want to do, get a moment of quiet by myself
and I become selfish, while I’m just trying to be just me. I forget that I am
all these things. But, you know people say everything isn’t just black and
white there’s grey in there. There’s a balance we have to find in our lives.
Yes, I am a mom, wife, me, and a child of God. I am ALL those things. Not just
one at a time. That’s my problem. I am trying to be so many separate things
when they aren’t separate at all. (whaaattt? Light bulb moment) In trying to be
all these different things I am actually losing myself in the frustration and
anxiety of all these different things in my head that I have to be or I have to
do, when in reality, it’s not a long list. All those things I am and have to be
is ONE thing, ONE person. It’s what makes up who I really am, not separate parts
of who I am. (Are you with me? Or am I just confusing? Lol)
So back to the balance part. God first, my
husband second, my child third, and myself last. Sounds easy enough but there’s
only so many hours in a day. I try to have my prayer and Bible reading first
thing with my coffee in the mornings, but with a 1 year old that’s almost
impossible. So, I make sure he has his milk first thing and that buys me time
for prayer and Bible reading. While he plays, I try to read a novel or get
chores done. When he’s watching a movie at night I try to spend time with my
husband. (This usually includes playing WOW). You see it’s just all about
balance and scheduling. You can be all of WHO YOU are every day. There’s no
reason for all the stress that comes with trying to escape one thing to be
another. Just be all of you, and make time for each aspect of who you are
without losing another aspect of you. God has blessed you with all these
different aspects of YOU, don’t try to change it or escape it. Embrace it.
<3
This is where I’ve been, and I’m worn out, I’m
tired, and exhausted. I cannot be 5 different people, I can only be ME. I’m
thankful that God has blessed me so much, and I need to be embracing it and
trusting Him and His word, and everything He teaches me. I hope that if you’re
in a similar spot in life that you can take something from this and am
encouraged. I pray that you will see you are who God made you to be and that’s a
blessing.
Keep being glamorous and always remember
Proverbs 31,
Carlee, The Glamorous Mom.
Don’t forget to like my Facebook page and keep
in touch. J
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